Secrets
by cmfanreidsgirl
Summary: A Opera singer meets one of her old classmates from HS in the coffee shop in which she works. She hopes to join his team at the BAU. As time goes on her past will come to light. Will she find the love she deserves or will her life be a solitary one like the man's who she calls father? Criminal MindsXNumb3rsXLeverage
1. Chapter 1

**All Secrets are deep. All Secrets become dark. That's in the nature of secrets. ~Cory Doctorow**

**Secrets**

**Chapter One: Pain**

I yawned as I walked through my apartment, boxes still everywhere. I had recently moved down from New York. I had been there for school, I took and majored in Criminal and Forensic Psychology and minored in theater. I had performed a few things on Broadway and at the Met and now performed at the local theater in D.C. I was getting ready for work; I had to be there at 5:30 am. I would be the only one there till three this afternoon, when I went to profiling class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I had rehearsals and auditions.

I had recently acquired the leading role in '_The Phantom of the Opera'_ and I was singing my part as I got ready. As I pulled my very long dark hair into a fishtail braid on the side I was looking through my clothes. I wanted to look nice, but be comfortable. As I finished my braid that was brushing against the top of my hip I decided on my black yoga pants and a fitted ruffle gray t-shirt. As I finished getting dressed I pulled on my tennis shoes and grabbed my purse. I grabbed my water and my ham and cheese sandwich for lunch and an apple for breakfast.

I walked the two blocks to the coffee shop where I worked by myself till three, the owner rarely came in. I unlocked the door and turned on the lights. Front room had an accent wall that was painted a bright red while the rest were painted a muted beige brown color. The woods were rich and dark and the lighting soft, like candle light. On the wall next to the door was a huge bay window. I went to the back room and hung up my purse and started the coffee.

The back room was cold compared to the front, white walls and stainless steel. The front had an almost homey feel, the back felt like a hospital. As soon as I had all the coffee brewing I flipped the sign in the door to indicate it was open. I then put on my music and began to sing, practicing for rehearsal tonight. While singing I busied myself with baking scones and other pastries. I kept the dough premixed in the fridge and freezer so the next day all I had to do was throw it on or in a pan, then throw it in the oven. This morning I had cinnamon, blue berry, and raspberry sconces to fix, all of them going at once. Once those were going I started the sweet rolls which I did have to make from scratch.

"Think of me, think of me fondly

When we've said goodbye

Remember me once in awhile

Please Promise me that you'll try

When you find that once again you long

Too take your heart back and be free

If you ever find a moment

Spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen

Or as unchanging as the sea

But if you can still remember

Stop and think of me

Think of all the things

We've shared and seen

Don't think about the way things

Which might have been

Think of me, think of me waking

Silent and resigned

Imagine me, trying too hard

To put you from my mind

Recall those days

Look back on those times

Think of the things, we'll never do

There will never be a day, when I won't think of you."

I fell silent for the part of Raoul, when I heard the little bell above the door ring. I turned to see a young man standing there. He had soft brown eyes that looked as though he was swimming in a sea of pain, his hair was a light brown, wavy and brushing his shoulders and he stood about 6'1. I greeted him in my usual custom, "Good morning sir, what can I do you for?" He wore a white dress shirt, a colorful tie, a black sweater vest, a suede brown jacket, a purple scarf, black dress pants and shoes, and a leather messenger bag hung over his shoulder. I also took note of the gun clipped to his belt.

"A large coffee with six sugars," he said looking around.

"I'll be right back with that honey," I said turning around and heading back into the back going through the beaded curtain I had set up. I started singing again where my part picked back up.

"We never said our love was evergreen

Or as unchanging as the sea

But please promise me

That sometimes you will think of me

Flowers fade, the fruit of summer fade, they

Have their seasons so do we, but please promise

Me that sometimes, you will think of me."

"Phantom of the Opera?" the young man asked when I had finished.

"Yeah, you know it?" I asked stirring sugar into his coffee. I then grabbed a lid and put it on coming back out.

"Yeah, great play," he said as he took his coffee taking a sip. "This is great, what do I owe you?"

"Three fifty," I said ringing him up. "So you like Phantom of the Opera?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied handing me a five. I gently took it from him.

"In a few weeks it will be playing at the theater just over a few blocks, I have one of the leading roles. If you want me to swing you a ticket or two let me know," I said handing him his change and recite.

"Thanks, I'll think about it," he said leaving.

"Have a wonderful day," I called after him. He turned back and gave a small wave with the hand that was holding his coffee, the other on the door handle, door open. I smiled slightly. I moved on to another song I had to sing, humming this time when another man walked in.

"Hey sis," I looked up to see none other than Derek Morgan.

"Hey brother," I replied smiling. "You coming to the play?" I asked jumping over the counter to hug him.

"You know it little sis," he said hugging me back. I playfully punched his arm.

"I'm almost taller than you, I'm not that little," I said laughing.

"You weigh about 100 pounds soaking wet," he said laughing and I shoved him.

"What do you want? No, no let me guess, black with a few tea spoons of cream and a pinch of sugar."

"You know me well," he replied giving me his absolutely dashing smile.

"I know how your whole takes their coffee," I said smiling heading to the back. "And just because I'm small doesn't mean that I can't kick your ass from here all the way back home to Chicago." He chuckled at that, knowing full well that I would do it too.

As I was banging around in the back he asked, "Did I just see Dr. Spencer Reid in here?" I sighed coming back out of the back.

"Yeah you did, I don't think he remembers me. It has been awhile since we last met," I said giving Derek his coffee.

"He's been through a lot sweetie, give him some time," Derek said giving me some cash. I nodded as I rung him up and passed his change back to him. "I'll see you for our run tonight, same place?"

"Yeah, same time," I replied smiling even though I knew it didn't reach my eyes.

Spencer's POV

I walked down the still dark streets of Quantico, heading for the metro system. That girl in the coffee shop, I had met her somewhere before. Just as the sun started to peak through the skyscrapers I descended down into the metro system boarding the sub car. I needed to get to work, paper work had to be done, and it would take my mind off of things. For some reason I found that relaxing. I thought about that girl at the coffee shop as I rode into work.

Her hair was in an unusual but beautiful braid that brushed the top of her left hip, she was about 5'10, pale skin with a hint of a darker tone there, maybe African American, and she was very thin. She didn't look like she could weigh more than 100 pounds. Her face, she had high cheek bones, a sharp and yet somehow soft jaw line, soft round eyes of the most beautiful hazel. And her eyebrows were perfectly sculpted.

I nearly jumped as the doors to my subway car started to close; I slipped through, before I missed my stop. I quickly ran up the stairs and out into the sun light. It was now about six fifteen. I had five minutes before I would be late for work. The rest of my team wouldn't be there till seven, but I was always there at the same time. By now I had finished my coffee, I would have to go back to that little coffee shop, the coffee was excellent.

I walked into the office at my usual time and set my stuff down on my desk then went to the little kitchenette to get some more coffee. I poured the sugar in as Derek came in behind me. He stopped for a coffee refill, "I see that you met my sister and cousin this morning," he said.

I looked at him confused, "Sister and cousin?" I asked taking a sip and adding more sugar.

"By blood she's just a cousin, but she spent her teen years growing up at my house so she basically is my sister," Derek explained.

"Her teen years?" I asked. I was still trying to figure out who the hell he was talking about.

"Yeah kid, she lived in Las Vegas till she was about 13. She hasn't changed much since then, other than the fact she's taller now."

"You talking about that girl at the coffee shop?" I asked taking another sip of my coffee, this time it was perfect.

"Yeah, I came in as you left."

Sabrina's POV

It was now nine in the morning and I was continuing to sing, now that everyone was at work business had slowed. A few college kids had been coming in, some had ordered scones, which is why I got here early, I had to cook and bake. Three and half hours later the lunch traffic came through and had left. I sat down with my own cup of coffee, my ham and cheese, and a scone I had baked. I had flipped the sign to say 'closed' before I sat. I sat down at a round table next to the window so I could people watch. I was about to take a bite from my sandwich when someone knocked on the door. I looked up to see Spencer, I waved him in.

"You back for more coffee?" I asked taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Yeah, and I wanted to talk I guess," he said sitting across from me.

"I'll let you gather your thoughts and go get your coffee." I got up and left, heading to the back room. I quickly made his order as he had asked this morning. I came back with a sandwich for him as well. I set his food and drink down in front of him and retook my seat. I took another bite from my sandwich and stared out the window, watching a couple having what appeared to be a heated discussion.

"I know I met you before but I can't remember where," he said. I could see the guilt in his eyes.

"Don't worry about it Spencer; honestly I'm not all that surprised. We met in high school, but the first time we fully acknowledged each other was the time the football team hurt you. I was the only one to interfere. After that I wouldn't let my mom move until you graduated." I took a sip of my coffee.

"I didn't see you do that, I was squeezing my eyes tightly shut, I was scared." I grabbed his hand. He looked up at me and once again his eyes looked like he was in a sea of pain. I wished there was something I could do to help him. "You placed your jacket over me right?"

"Yeah," I said. I could see that his eyes were brimming with tears. I moved to sit closer to him. "What's wrong Spence?" I asked slipping my arm over his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this, I barely remember you," he said trying to get up. I pushed him back down in the seat.

"I made you a promise a long time ago Spence, that if you needed to talk about anything, I would be there. So bother me," I said trying to lighten the tension. With that the flood gates opened up. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to be comforting.

"Four months ago, my girlfriend was killed in front of me, and there was nothing I could do," he sobbed getting everything out in a rush.

I rubbed circles in his back, "Easy Spence."

"I didn't tell her that I…before she," he said getting choked off in a sob.

"Come here sweetie," I said pulling him towards me. He fell into my chest and wrapped his arms around me, I hugged him back. "She knew Spence, she knew." I continued to rub his back and I just held him close. There was absolutely nothing that I could say that would take away the pain he was feeling. Nor was there anything I could do, I could only be there for him.

"I should have told her."

I pulled back slightly and lifted his chin so he had to look at me. "Spence, trust me, she knew." That brought on a fresh wave of tears and I pulled him back to me. "I wish there was something I could say to take away your pain, but there isn't. The only thing I can say is that it will get better, the pain will lessen."

"It doesn't feel like it," he said starting to take deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. "How do you know?" he asked looking at me.

"I've lost two people I care about, my brother, he died trying to protect me, the other died in a car wreck and the last thing I did was argue with them. The pain is still there, but I can now think about them and it doesn't hurt as much as it did." He nodded and pulled away. "You should eat something," I said keeping a hand on his shoulder. He nodded again.

"What do I owe for this?" he asked.

"It's on me," I said picking up my coffee and taking a sip. At that moment my phone rang. "Hello you have reached the goddess of song what can I do for you?" I asked. I saw Spence give a slight smile at how I answered my phone and I gave him my blinding smiling in return.

I heard my cousin laugh, "You spend way too much time with Garcia."

"Shut up Derek, I could say the same about you. What do you need?"

"Reid with you?"

"Yeah he is, just a second," I said to my cousin. I pulled my phone away from my ear to speak to Spence; I knew what my cousin wanted to know. "Hey Spence, you up for going back to work or do you want to stay here?" I asked rubbing his back.

He took in a shuddering breath and ran his hands through his hair. "I need the rest of the day."

I nodded, "He needs the day, I'll take good care of him," I said the phone now back to my ear.

"I know you will baby girl and thanks for giving him a shoulder, he needed it."

"Sure thing Derek, talk to you later," I said watching Spence as he ate.

"See ya," Derek said hanging up. I put my phone back in my pocket and finished my lunch.

As I reached for my scone Spence spoke up, "Thanks for lunch and listening. I mean I don't even remember your name and you are being so kind to me." He then started to ramble.

"Spence, you're welcome, everyone needs someone to listen to them. And my name is Sabrina, Sabrina Poe. Well it was Poe when I was in high school, now it's Granger, though some people know my last name as Morgan." My name cut off his rambling quite quickly. I had never minded his rambling, but right now he needed to relax. Rambling wasn't going to help him remember anything about me, especially since he had blocked those memories because he didn't want to revisit them.

"Poe as Edgar Allen Poe?" he asked taking another bite and the last bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, he's my great, great, great, great Uncle," I said.

Just then my boss walked in, "What the hell Sabrina? You're supposed to be working!" My boss was a short, fat, balding man with a short fuse. He reminded me of that cop partner from Glades that Longworth arrested for killing his wife.

"I'm sorry sir; I needed an extended lunch break. It won't happen again."

"I can have you fired for this," he said. Spencer made to say something and I placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"That you could sir, but I am the ONLY person in a tri-county area that will work for you and come in at five thirty in the morning to bake the scones. You fire me you'll go out of business, not that this place gets that much anyway." With that I picked up our plates and took them to the back and washed them and put them in the drying rack. I came back out with two coffee cups and my purse. "Here's for lunch," I said shoving $15 into my boss's hand. "Spence let's go."

He joined me at the door and we walked out together. "I am so sorry about that Sabrina. I could have cost you your job, I should go. I'm sorry." As he tried to walk off I grabbed his hand.

He turned back to look at me, "It's fine Spence, my boss is an ass. He won't fire me. I'm the only one that will put up with him, there's no need to apologize." I handed him his coffee that had been sitting on top of mine. "Besides I promised Derek that I would take care of you, so you are coming with me to my rehearsal." He nodded.

"Thanks for lunch and everything," he said. "So the Phantom of the Opera, which part are you playing?" he asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Christine," I answered. I removed the lid from my coffee and took a sip.

"So where is this rehearsal?" he asked.

"A theater in D.C, I'm heading for the metro. It's my way around town," I said moving over to a cross walk. Spence kept going and I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back as a bus blared its horn blowing through the intersection. "Gees Spence, please be careful. I've lost enough friends; I don't want to lose you to." I wrapped my arm around his and took his hand securely in mine.

"Sorry, I've been distracted for a while now."

I brushed my shoulder against his as he looked away from me, his eyes shining. "It's okay Spence; it is quite common to be distracted after a loss." He looked at me, his tears starting to spill over. "It's okay Spence," I said in a soft voice pulling him closer. He leaned into me slightly as we moved across the street to get to the metro. Once underground I swiped my metro card and we headed for the box cars. I picked the one closest to us and grabbed the bar at the ceiling. I felt Spencer press into me, looking for some comfort. I pressed into him slightly.

I was unaware that my shirt had slid up a little, revealing some of a scar on my right hip. I suddenly felt warm fingers gliding across it; I jumped out of my skin and nearly dropped my coffee. "Sorry, I was just looking. Sorry," he said again. I turned to face him.

I took a moment to catch my breath, "It's fine Spence, just give me some warning next time," I said. I saw the tears forming again in his eyes. I put my hand at the back of his neck, my arm resting on his chest, "Hey, it's okay Spence, it's fine." He just nodded. "I'll explain it later, not here and not now." He just nodded again, tears starting to spill from his eyes. "Spence I'm not mad, you just startled me."

"I'm fine," he said trying to compose himself. I pulled him into a hug, not buying what he said. A few minutes later the sub car came to a stop. I grabbed Spence's hand and lead him out into the late afternoon sun.


	2. Chapter 2: Unwanted

**Chapter Two: Unwanted**

I walked into the Warner theater with Spence right behind me leaving the late warm afternoon sun behind, wishing I could just go outside and play. I placed my empty coffee cup in the trash by the door to the stage. I lead him to a seat in the front row, "here just sit here and enjoy the show," I said. "Do you mind watching my purse while I'm up there?" I asked.

"Sure," he said taking it off my shoulder. Tears welled up in his eyes.

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I promise it will get better," I whispered in his ear. He nodded. I then turned and hopped up on the stage. After two and a half hours the rehearsal was over and I climbed down off the stage. "Let's go Spence, I need to go home and change. I got to go run with Derek. You can come too," I said taking my purse from him.

"Yeah I would like that; a run would be nice, though I'm not very good at it."  
"Don't worry; I'll set a pace you can match. Do you need to stop by your place?" I asked.

"Yeah and if you don't mind I would like to crash at your place, I just don't want to be alone right now."

"That's fine Spence, you can crash at my place any time and we'll stop by your place real quick. Just let me call Derek and let him know I'll be a few minutes late," I said. Spence nodded. I pulled out my phone and hit the two, speed dialing my cuz. "Hey dude, I'm going to be a few minutes late for our run tonight, but I will be there." I agreed with a few of the things he said before I hung up.

"You didn't tell him I was going to be with you?" Spencer asked.

"I think he already knows that you'll be there, I also knew if I told him he wouldn't let you live it down. Let's get going, lead on Spence."

He took my hand in his and pulled me close. "Let's go," he said. As soon as we were out the door he asked, "So the scar, it spells something out." It wasn't a question.

"Yes it does, I'll tell you when we get back to my place because after I tell you I am going to want to run," I said. "So where do you live?" I asked changing the subject.

He pointed ahead of us, "just up a few blocks. I would like a ticket to your show, the rehearsal was incredible. And was that a real horse up on stage"

I smiled and blushed a little, "I'll get you that ticket then and thank you and yes it was, mine." My horse was a big black Friesian stallion. A few minutes later we were walking up to an apartment building. I noticed he avoided the elevator. "Don't like elevators?" I asked.

"No, out of the hundreds of elevator accidents that happen every year six of them result in death." I followed him up the stairs to the fourth floor. He started looking in his pockets and bag trying to find his keys. "Great, I can't find the keys," he muttered.

I sighed and pulled a pin out of my hair, "Move," I said gently pushing him aside. I bent down on my knees in front of the lock and picked it in about 2 seconds flat. I would have to thank Parker for teaching me how to pick locks.

"You pick locks?" I looked up to see a look of shock on his face. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

"I only do it when I lose my keys. They haven't yet made a lock that can keep me out." As we stepped into his apartment I was awed by the amount of books on just about every surface. The bookshelves were over flowing with books. I walked over to one written in Russian. I picked up and started reading. "_Heart of a Dog_ in Russian? I haven't read this in so long; I didn't take you for one to read what could be considered a comic book." I looked up at him.

"You can read that?" he asked heading to the back room.

"Yeah, I can read several languages," I replied. I sat down to read it while he gathered his things.

He came back a few minutes later with a duffle bag. "You can borrow that if you want."

It took me a moment to respond, after a minute I set the book down, "thanks but I just finished it."

A look of shock crossed his face, "You read faster than I do." I stood up to come stand beside him.

"It made college a lot easier. You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's go," he said.

Once outside of his apartment I hailed a cab and climbed in the back with him "Just so you know I have two English Mastiff Great Pyrenees mixes at home, they are trained guard dogs. So when we get there I need you to do as I ask so that the dogs will let you in."

"Yeah of course, what do you need me to do?"

"Completely ignore them, act as if they don't exist, if they growl at you ignore them and let me handle it and if I tell you to do something, do it. And another important thing, don't be afraid of them, that could cause all kinds of trouble."

"Will they bite me?" Spence asked with concern on his face.

"Only if ordered," I replied. Moments later we were at my house. It was small, one story, a plain white with a cement front porch with a bench swing and a screen door in front of the heavy wood door. There were flowers leading up the walk way to the steps. "I apologize ahead of time for the mess; I just moved here a few weeks ago, I'm still unpacking." I then turned to the cab driver, "Do you mind waiting for about ten minutes, we'll be right back out?"

The man turned to me; he had deep set dark blue eyes, a soft tan that was fading now that winter was around the bend, short dark hair that was curly, "of course not ma'am."

"Thank you sir," I replied getting out of the cab. Spence had already stepped out and was looking at my place. "I know it's small and the neighborhood sucks but, for now it will work," I said stepping up behind him.

He turned to look at me, "Do you have a way to protect yourself other than the dogs?" I could clearly hear the concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm a black belt in Krav Maga, anyone tries to mess with me they will be on the ground and I will be two blocks away before they can figure out what happened. I know to other forms of self-defense. I've been taught to fight since I was little." He took a slight step back at the sheer authority in my voice. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, come on let's go in and stay behind me." I walked up to the front door and pulled out the keys. When I opened the door both dogs were sitting five feet away from the door, smiling at me. I completely ignored them while I came in and put my purse by the door.

Spencer made to say something and I put my finger on his lips and shook my head. I had to show my dogs that he was _my_ guest and not theirs. After a 90 second stare down they went to go sit on the couch. "Spence, the guest bed room is this way," I said indicating with my head before I walked through my freshly painted kitchen. It was a bright red, to help with digestion and my kitchen only had three walls with most of them covered by cabinets and counters, not to mention back splash so the color wasn't too much. I then cut to the hallway full of boxes leading to the bedrooms. I stopped at the second door on the left and opened it.

"Here and if you need the bathroom it is down one door the way we came, on the same side this room is on." With that I walked out to go to the door at the end of the hallway on the right side, the master bed room. I just needed to change my shirt before I was ready for a run. I traded my gray ruffle tee for a tank and hoodie. I then grabbed my running bag off the back of my door and went into my bathroom to put two towels into it. Normally I just carried one, but I had a new running partner.

I then left my room which was in desperate need of paint and light to go to the kitchen. I grabbed four bottled waters, two for me and two for Spence. "Spence let's go the cabbie is wait for us!" I called grabbing my leash which ended in a 'Y' with two clips on the end. I whistled and my dogs came running to me and sat so I could clip the leash to their collars. They had the face of a Pyrenees and most of the coloring along with the heavy coat, but it was shorter like the Mastiff's. They had the build of a Mastiff, big and muscular.

"I'm coming," Spencer said coming out wearing the most beat up pair of running shorts that I had ever seen, a FBI tee and his converse tennis shoes. "So you scar?" he asked coming to stand beside me.

"My father, before he left me and my mom. He put the scar there so I would remember why he left." With that I grabbed some cash for the cabbie, my keys, my running bag, and dogs. I was out the door with Spence on my heels to keep from getting left behind. I opened the door to the little yellow cab and shoved my dogs in first before I climbed in. Spence slid in right beside me.

"Where to?" the cabbie asked.

"The outdoor running track at the Y," I replied in a clipped tone, no longer much interested in conversation. I was fighting the tears that were stinging my eyes, burning them. I was working to get myself under control; I couldn't do this now, not with my dogs in an enclosed space. That could lead to disaster.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Spencer started.

"Not now Spence, don't feel sorry for me with my dogs so close, that energy could cause problems." Ten minutes later we were at the track, thank god. I wasn't so sure that I would now be able to set a pace that Spence could match.

"That will be 55 ma'am," the cabbie said turning to face me. I handed him three 20s and he passed me back a five. "Thank ya' ma'am," he said as we got out.

"Thank you," I replied. I slid out behind Spence pulling my dogs behind me onto the brightly lit track. The track was made up of the standard track material with lines and numbers painted on it, metal stands and bleachers along the sides for those that came to watch practice ball games and the sports that involved running on the track, at the moment I couldn't care less what they were called.

"Hey! Hey!" I heard my cousin yell. I turned to look at him; his hands were waving in the air to get our attention. His smile was as bright as it was this morning. I waved at him and gave a small smile which probably looked more like a grimace. "I was wondering if you stood me up," Derek joked.

I threw my running bag down next to his on the lowest bleacher. "You know I wouldn't do that to my favorite cousin Derek," I said my voice completely void of any emotion. I knew he would catch it, he was a profiler.

"What's wrong?"

"The past," I answered my cousin taking off down the track before any more questions could be asked.

Spencer's POV

"You asked her about her scar didn't you?" Morgan asked, almost accusingly.

I nodded in what could be qualified as shame, "I didn't mean any harm by asking. I just saw her scar when she and I were on the subway. Her shirt slid up a bit as she reached for the bar. I just barely touched it and she jumped out of her skin," I said taking a deep breath realizing that I was beginning to ramble. "I'm sorry."

"She knows that Reid, but her past is hard for her to talk about. There is a reason my mom fought to have custody of her after her mother died. Her father never stepped forward to claim her and after I found what he did to her I am glad I have never met him, I would have killed him."

The look of rage behind his eyes was surprising to me; I couldn't recall seeing him so angry. "So she told you, without you asking or pushing?"

I was startled by his question, I looked at him confused, "Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Because she has never told anyone unless pushed, even then she had to be backed into a corner." I then thought of something that she had said earlier, "She said some people know her last name to be Morgan, even though it was Granger?"

"Yeah, she took her brother's last name, but when she was living with me, before she knew about her brother she had her last name changed to Morgan. She didn't want her father's last name, not after what he did to her more than once."

"Who is her brother?"

Morgan sighed, "He was an FBI agent in LA. When she was kidnapped while visiting him he rescued her. A few months later their father killed him. Every year on the anniversary of his death she goes out to his grave. I became her brother; she needed one at that point in her life. And just so you know, she believes her brother to be alive, his body was never found, but after seven years the state declared him dead, so she buried an empty casket and bought a tomb stone. His name was Colby Granger." I was stunned into silence, what had this girl been through? How much had she survived and never told anyone?

"What does her scar say? I didn't see much of it."

"Unwanted," Morgan replied. So that's what she meant when she said that was what her father put there, so she would remember why he left. How a father could do that could do that to his own child I didn't know, but my father also left me. Though the difference was mine didn't leave a physical scar.

At the moment Sabrina ran passed us, creating a small wind. "Are you two going to run or not!" she shouted over her shoulder at us. Morgan and I looked at each other before taking off to try to catch up to the absolutely tiny woman in front of us.

Sabrina's POV

While the boys were talking, most likely about me I was running. My feet pounding the pavement, my heart echoing the sound in my chest felt good, the blood pounding in my ears, drowning out my thoughts of my past. I didn't need to run to make myself tired, I was already tired. I had been on my feet since four this morning, as I was every morning. As I made my second pass by my running partners I yelled back at them, "Are you guys going to run or not?" I tended to run for at least an hour, to stay in shape and wear out my dogs. A few moments after I asked them if they were going to join me I heard the pounding of two sets of feet behind me.

I kept my lead for a few more laps while they tried to catch me. After those few more laps I had managed to rebury the memories and I slowed my pace to match my running partners'. I had told Spence I would set a pace he could match. "You are fast for one your size; can you keep that pace for longer?" Spence asked.

"Yeah, I can keep that pace for near of two hours. I can't let my size be my weakness." I was getting tired of this pace and I had only been at it for half a lap, "can you guys go any faster? I'm sorry, but I'm used to going much faster."

"You know I can baby girl," Derek said.

I rolled my eyes, "Stop calling me that, I'm not a baby anymore," I said. I looked at Spence, "how fast do you think that you can go?" I asked.

"Not much faster than this, how did you get so fast?"

"Practice, practice, practice," I replied to his question.

"Well I think I can only get a few more laps in before I'm done," Spencer said.

I nodded, "there are two bottles of water and a towel for you in my running bag." I was breathing heavy, but nowhere near ready to stop.

"Aren't you tired yet Sabrina?" Derek asked. I shook my head, hair coming undone from my braid and sticking to my face and neck. My body was dripping with sweat, making me look as though I had just stepped out of a pool. My muscles were starting to burn with exhaustion and I was getting extremely thirsty. After Spence had sat down I picked my earlier pace back up, out running Derek. After six more laps Derek spoke again, "Sabrina, stop. You're going to be in pain in the morning." I was several feet ahead of Derek, not slowing at all when he called out to me, asking me to stop. Spencer had stopped four laps ago.

I finished the lap I was on and stopped next to where I had set my running bag. I rested my hands on my knees, leaning forward to catch my breath, also waiting for Derek to catch up. A few minutes later Derek came sliding to a stop beside me. After I caught my breath I stood up and looked at Derek, "I'll be just fine Derek. If I run myself to exhaustion I don't have the nightmares, I need my sleep." I then moved to sit next to Spence and I grabbed a bottle of water.

"Running that hard can be bad for you," Derek said.

"Would you rather I do drugs, drink or worse?" I asked opening up a bottled water. I took a long drink.

"No, I don't want you doing that, not again," Derek said getting his own water out.

"Again, you used to do drugs?" Spence asked looking up at me in shock.

"Once upon a time, many years ago I did many things that I regret, drugs being one of them. Derek and his mom helped me get clean. I was one hot mess," I said getting another drink before opening my second water bottle and pouring some out for my dogs and they too lapped up the water as it came out of the bottle. "Would you mind giving us a ride back to my place Derek?"

"Sure, I always do don't I?"

"Thanks Derek," I said getting up. I grabbed by bag and stood up. I pulled Spence to his feet. "Come on Spence; let's go get something to eat." Minutes later I was getting out of Derek's SUV.

As I was heading to the front door with Spence I heard Derek call out, "Hey kid!" I knew he wasn't talking to me so I kept walking. I heard a small hum in response. "Take care of her; she's going to have a rough time tonight." Nice, the man that stepped up as my brother when I needed one because my father killed mine is now telling my friend to take care of me. I had been taking care of myself for years.

"I will, I owe her for today." With that I heard Spence's footsteps behind me; I had already entered the house. "So Sabrina, what are we doing for dinner?" he asked slipping through the door.

"Spaghetti and meat balls but first I'm going to take a shower, if you wish to do so use the bathroom next to your room, I have my own bathroom in my room," I said locking the door. I then unclipped the leash from my dogs' collars. I then headed for my bathroom. I needed a nice long hot shower. While I was in the shower I practiced another one of my songs for my play, I had to sing it when the play was over.

"Child of the wilderness

Born into emptiness

Learn to be lonely

Learn to find your way in darkness

Who will be there for you

Comfort and care for you

Learn to be lonely

Learn to be your one companion

Never dreamed out in the world

There are arms to hold you

You've always known your heart was on its own

So laugh in your loneliness

Child of the wilderness

Learn to be lonely

Learn how to love life that is lived alone."

As I sang tears came to my eyes, for a good portion of my life that was how I felt, I had been alone. My mother was a drug addict with drinking problems, my father had abused me before walking out and I didn't have any friends in school. My father had scared them all away. I shook my head to try to dispel the thoughts, I had to hold it together for a few more hours, then I could talk to my brother and let the day go before bed.

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**A/N: Please review and leave me some suggestions. I have started an Elliot Spencer story, it is yet to be posted, like a few others I'm working on. Leave me suggestions for that too. I like hearing from you guys. Hope to update as many of my stories as I can soon. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I would like to thank idadri for her review. I welcome all reviews, even if it is criticism on my writing, it will help me get better. The better I write and learn to write the better my stories will be.**

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**Chapter Three: Eliot Spencer**

I had dug out my old sweats and one of my brother's FBI tees. That was one of the few things I had left of his. I had one shirt that smelled like him, and therefore I refused to wash it. That might be weird, but I wanted to remember him. After I was dressed in my old ratty clothes I once again did a side fishtail braid. I slipped into my Hello Kitty slippers and went out to the kitchen. I opened a box in the middle of what was to be the living room and pulled out a pan, skillet and pot to cook the spaghetti.

I started banging around the kitchen, getting the water boiling, getting out the beef, sauce, butter and salt. I preheated the oven, to cook the meatballs. As the water was boiling I rolled the beef into little balls and placed them in the pan. "You want any help?" Spence asked coming into the kitchen still toweling his hair dry.

"No thanks," I said trying to keep my pain out of my voice, but I knew whether I did or not he would know, being a profiler. He moved to stand behind me and raised his hands up to rest them on my shoulders.

"Sabrina," he said in a soft voice. I moved away from him before he could rest his hands on my shoulders. "Sabrina, let me help you. You helped me earlier today." I knew he had turned to face me.

"Spence, I'm used to dealing with everything on my own. You're going to have to give me a lot time to be able to open up to someone. After what I've been through I don't trust many with my past, I can count on one hand who I trust with it. Even then I almost never tell them everything." I moved to put the spaghetti into the boiling water.

I heard a sigh come from behind me. I turned to see Spence leaning back against the counter top, his arms extending behind him, holding him up. He was looking at the ground, making it hard for me to read his face. Before I could say anything he spoke up. "I once did drugs too, a long time ago but I still crave them. I was kidnapped and held hostage for almost two days. I was beaten and forced to shoot up. The whole time I was tortured, so I can understand some of what you have been through. You can talk to me that promise you made me should go both ways."

I agreed with him, but wasn't sure I was ready to talk, after all today was the first time that we had spoken since he was 12 and he was now almost 32. We hadn't seen each other in more than 10 years and I was just supposed to trust him as though no time had passed? We hadn't even been friends exactly in high school. I had protected him in high school and after what the football team did to him I made him a promise, one that I wasn't sure he would remember me making.

"I do agree with you on that Spence, but we haven't seen each other in more than 10 years and we weren't exactly the best of friends in high school. It is going to take time for me to learn to open up to you, and I hope you will wait for me to do that, because I don't want you to give on me being open with you. I'm just not ready to talk yet." I slid past him, "excuse me," I whispered so I could get to the meatballs and put them in the oven.

"I would never give up on you Sabrina. For the first time today I have hope, hope that my pain will get better. I have to repay you for that."

I moved to the sink with the spaghetti and drained the water, "you owe me nothing." I avoided eye contact, I knew they would betray me and show how much pain I was in. I didn't want anyone's pity. I was the leader of my pack, if I let my emotions take control of me now, my dogs would take control, then someone could get hurt.

"I just want to help," Spence said.

"I know that, but if I lose control of my emotions with my dogs in the room you could get hurt, I could, and they could even hurt each other. I am the pack leader! I have to give off a strong energy! Not just for my safety but everyone around me. I can't do this now," I said coming back over to the stove to put some butter into the skillet, heating it up.

"Okay, I can understand that, but that doesn't mean you need to be strong all the time, it isn't healthy."

"Just stop, please. I don't want to start yelling at you," I said opening the jar of sauce and pouring it into the skillet, heating up the sauce and adding the spaghetti.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head trying to convey that it was all right as I pulled the meatballs out of the oven as the timer went off. I too dumped them into the skillet mixing everything up. Once I had it to my satisfaction I went back into the living room to another box and pulled out two plates, two coffee mugs, two forks, and two knives.

I put everything down on the counter and served up the food and went to the coffee pot and filled one of the cups and put some sugar in. The other cup I put milk in. I then proceeded to set the table, which was a card table in the middle of my kitchen. I pulled out two folding chairs from between my fridge and the wall. "Sorry about the crappy furniture, I'm still waiting for most of it to get here from New York."

We both then fell into a comfortable silence while we ate. We sat there for about a half an hour in the metal folding chairs, at the little yellow folding card table that had slots between the wood slats. I was the first to finish and I went over to the sink and started washing off the dishes I had used so I could put it into the dishwasher. Spence then stepped up beside me handing me his dishes so I could too rinse those off.

"It's still early evening, you want to do anything?" Spence asked.

"Unpack a few of these boxes, at least get my dishes put away, and the pots and pans. That will make meals easier." After I put his dishes into the wash I put the chairs away and went to grab a box. I walked into the living room and grabbed a large cardboard box labeled 'DISHES' and walked into the kitchen placing the box on the table. I pulled out some of my plain white ceramic dishes and took a stack of small plates over to a cabinet. I placed them on the lowest shelf on the left hand side. I placed the bowls next to them which were an assortment of colors and glass and ceramic. Fortunately they were all the same size.

My large plates were the same as the bowls, an assortment of colors and materials that they were made of. They were placed on the far right, placing the bowls in the middle. "Hey Spence could you please start bringing coffee cups over here? They are in the box labeled 'COFFEE CUPS' next to the couch."

"Yeah sure," Spence replied heading into the living room and picking up the box. I heard him place the box on the table shortly before I heard footsteps coming toward me. "Here," he said passing me two coffee cups.

"Thanks," I said taking them from him and placing them on the second shelf and directly above the big plates. My coffee cups had various quotes, pictures, and were various colors. All of them very large, but short. For the next five minutes Spence brought me coffee cups and I placed them on the shelf, before moving onto glasses to put them next to the coffee cups. Before I went to grab that box though I collapsed the other two and put them by my trash so I could put them in the recycling in the morning.

Two hours later it was eleven at night and 90% of my kitchen had been unpacked with six boxes collapsed sitting by my trash can. "Well I need to go to bed, if you want to stay up later be my guest, but I have to be up by four, so good night." I walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway heading for my room.

"Good night," Spence called after me. As soon as I was in my room I closed the door and locked it. I leaned against the door for a few minutes before taking a breath. I really hoped Spence wouldn't be listening to me; I would be talking to my brother. I went over to my bed and pulled out my phone. I sat cross legged on my bed and opened my contacts and hit Colby's name. Placing the Samsung S4 to my ear I listened to his phone ring and ring until it went to voice mail.

"Hey Colby, it's me again. My day was like any other Monday today but it was hard. I met I guess a friend of mine today while at work. He's been through a lot. I would tell you if I had his permission, but I don't so I won't say anything. Today I had to talk about my scar to my friend, and a little bit about you." At that a sob broke through my chest, "I miss you Colby. If there was something that I could have done to prevent what happened I would. I wish I could change the past Colby, I wish I could see you again." For the next hour I talked to my brother going on about my day and what I was feeling.

After I had cried myself to the point where I could no longer stay awake I hung up and went to bed. Before I knew it my alarm went off. I rolled over and groaned. I did not want to get up; I had had about four hours of sleep. Grumbling I got up and turned off my alarm. I went into the bathroom to brush and rebraid my hair, brush my teeth and wash my face. I then went to do my thirty minutes of yoga. After doing yoga positions that would cause most people pain I went out into the main room of the house calling my dogs Simba and Jackson to me.

I had to take them on a thirty minute walk so they could take care of their business and stretch their legs. To my surprise Spence was in the kitchen with a cup of coffee. "Hey, I'm going for a walk, I'll be right back." I grabbed the leash and a couple of plastic bags. I went out the door before Spence could say anything. I just needed a minute on my own and I could out run him in a heartbeat.

As soon as I was out the door and I took off at nearly top speed, gaining speed as I went. Within 90 seconds I was running at full speed. I passed by a bakery, a book store, a couple grocery stores and markets, a video rental, and a computer repair store. After 15 minutes I doubled back so I could get something to eat and go to work.

I came back through the door of my house, going to feed the dogs after unclipping them from the leash. "You're back awfully soon."  
"I'm fast and I have to be at work in 30, you?" I asked.

"Six, I'll go with you. I love the coffee there." I nodded grateful that he had not brought up last night. I knew he listened. I walked to my room to put clothes on, today I choose a pair of black skinny jeans and a graphic tee and my jacket. I came back out with my purse and came out into the kitchen to grab my water and something for breakfast and lunch. "Is that all you're going to eat?" Spence asked looking at the banana, water bottle, and sausage and cheese biscuit.

"It's all I need, let's go," I said shoving everything in my purse. I walked out the door and sped walked to work with Spence on my heels.

"You need to eat more than that, with as fast as you run," Spence said trying to keep up. I ignored him, stress kept me from eating more. I worried about my cousin out in the field, now I had him to worry about. I was also trying to get into the FBI, his team to be exact. Today I had my entry exam into the bureau. I had to run the obstacle course, pass my fire arms qualifications, hand to hand combat, and prove what I knew about profiling.

I could run the obstacle course in just a few minutes. I was a dead on shot and I could take Derek down on my own, and he was at least 80 pounds heavier than me. "So after work what do you have to do?" Spence asked as I unlocked the door to the coffee shop.

"My FBI entry exam," I replied pulling the door open.

"What? You're joining the FBI? What branch? Are you even strong enough for that? Can you handle a gun?"

"I can handle a gun that weighs nearly 50 pounds, take it apart, clean it, and put it back together; I can take Derek down, and the BAU." I flipped on the lights and headed to the back. I did my usual routine, started the coffee, threw things in the oven to heat it up, flipped the sign to 'open', went back into the kitchen and started some new sconces and other pastries. "I can also read eight languages and am fluent in nine, including sign language."

"What languages do you speak?"

As I brought out his coffee I answered him, "Russian, Arabic, Spanish, French, Italian, Hebrew, Irish, Elvish, and English. And a little Chinese and Japanese." I then left the room to go pull things out of the oven and put more in. Before I knew it I was walking to the FBI office. The day at the coffee shop had been quiet as usual. As I reached the FBI building I called Derek, "Hey Derek. I'm outside the building for my interview; could you help me get in?" I asked holding my phone to my ear.

"Sure, I'll be down in the minute. I'll call the front desk and tell them to have you wait for me."

"Thank you," I said hanging up. I walked into the building as a young lady with long black, curly hair waved me over to her. She had a phone pressed to her ear, as I got closer I could see her features were soft, her eyes a warm blue.

"Agent Morgan will be down in a minute to take to his office, here is a visitor's pass." She slid the ID badge across the counter and I quickly clipped it to my shirt.

"Thank you ma'am," I said giving her the warmest smile I could manage. Moments later I heard the ding of an elevator door, my cousin stepped out, and he was wearing his most dashing smile. "Hey Derek," I said walking over to him.

"Hey you ready for your interview?"

"Are you ready for me to kick your ass when I'm asked to demonstrate my hand to hand combat skills?" I asked, my voice reflecting my smile.

"As if you could take me down, you're so little," Derek said.

"And that my dear Derek is my advantage, I learned from the best."

"You flatter me."

"Sorry I don't mean to be rude but I wasn't actually referring to you." I smiled at the look of shock on his face. "A friend of mine in California," I said smiling, "he is what is referred to as a hitter." Unfortunately I couldn't say his name, I had promised him. He knew I wanted to work with the FBI and made me promise not to talk about him with anyone. I had agreed, reluctantly. That man had become my father.

Soon we were in the bull pen and Spence came running up to me, "is it that time already?" he asked. I smiled and nodded heading straight for Agent Hotchner's office. Derek knocked on the door.

"Hotch; my cousin is here to see you." With that he walked away as I walked in as Hotchner stood to greet me.

"Miss Granger," he said extending his hand.

I took it, "Sabrina," I corrected as he shook my hand. Miss Granger reminded me of the teachers from the Harry Potter series addressing their students, especially from the books. I wasn't as smart as Hermione Granger, but I still packed a punch.

"Sabrina," he said as we both claimed a seat. "My name is Aaron Hotchner; I understand that you are looking to join my team."

"Yes sir I am," I replied. The man before me wore a dark suite, white dress shirt, red tie, black belt and dress shoes. His face had a slight hint of worry lines but was mainly etched with frown lines. His eyes were dark, firm, but kind and understanding. His black hair was cropped short but was longer than Derek's who barely had any hair at all. He appeared to be in his 40's and there was a fading tan line on his left ring finger.

I felt out of place in my jeans, tennis shoes, and graphic tee. "Please forgive my attire sir; I don't yet own any suites."

"Have you met Garcia?" he asked a laughing tone in his voice.

I smiled, "yes I have sir."

"There is nothing wrong with your attire Sabrina. I know that you already know a lot about profiling, given your past so I am not going to ask you anything on that, I also have your school records here. They are quite outstanding, impressive. I would however like to see how you handle a gun and your hand to hand skills."

"I can show you any time you are ready sir," I said smiling.

"Let's go then, Derek has agreed to help you am I correct?"

"Yes sir and bring the rest of the team, they are going to want to see this," I said smiling. We headed out of the office and the rest of the team followed on Hotch's order. An elevator ride later that was filled with chatter we were in the basement. There was a workout room full of mats. "You sure you still want to help Derek?" I asked as I gave my purse to a blonde who held her hand out for it and who I had yet to be introduced to.

"You think you are so tough little cousin, I believe the mistake is yours in asking me to help you with this." I rolled my eyes, there was a reason I had asked him, we were the same height, but I looked like I weighed about 100 pounds when in reality I weighed 125. Both of us moved into the middle of the room while the rest of the team leaned against the wall to watch us. On Hotch's go Derek made the first move and I moved my right foot, pulling the rest of my body with me, so now my front was facing the team, while I was still looking at Derek.

He came at me again and I blocked him, while I was blocking him he tried to make another move which I too blocked. After 10 minutes of me blocking him and draining his energy, I knocked him to the floor. As I tried to pin him he rolled so now he was on top of me. I gave into the roll continuing it so I was back on top and I pinned his arms to his side, sitting on top of him I had one hand around his throat and the other raised above his face as a fist.

"Do you give?" I asked barely out of breath. He nodded breathing heavily. I got to my feet and offered him my hand. He took it and I pulled him to his feet.

"Very impressive Sabrina," Hotch said.

"Thank you sir, but that was only part of it, I was holding back so that I didn't seriously hurt him. If he had been an unsub he would be unconscious right now." I went over to the tall blonde who had taken my purse from me, "thank you miss."

She handed it to me, "You can call me JJ," she said. She was of average height and weight, and good looking. She had a mothering persona about her and wore a ring with a birth stone on her left hand.

A tall dark haired woman was next, "Doctor Alex Blake," she too shook my hand. She was a little older than the other woman, but the same height and weight. She like her boss wore a dark suit.

"David Rossi," I said as a man a few years older than Hotch stepped forward. "I have read all of your books sir. I find them fascinating." He was dressed similarly to Hotch, with a slight beard, though I wasn't sure it was long enough to be called that.

"Thank you Miss Granger and I have seen most of your shows. You are preforming at the end of next week yes? Phantom of the Opera if I'm not mistaken."

"Yes sir and please call me Sabrina."

"Shows?" Hotch asked.

"I've performed on Broadway, at the Met, and a few other theaters in New York. I am currently rehearsing for a play has Agent Rossi said. I'm sure Derek has mentioned it, even perhaps Spence." They all looked at me shocked or something. "I can get all of you tickets if you wish and for your families."

"I ready bought everyone one," Rossi said.

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**A/N: I don't know when the fourth chapter will be up, I am also working on a Leverage story which has yet to be posted. Working on all of these stories probably isn't wise since I do intend to finish all of them. I have A.D.D if no one has figured it out so bare with me. Some of my stories are being redone, but I will get everything done sooner or later, I promise. Please leave a review, it helps me want to continue the story and I want to hear what you honestly think. I will do my best to get the next chapter up soon. Love you all. :)**


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